About
Rudy Gonzales
Some Poems
Contacting Rudy Gonzales
About Rudy Gonzales
Rudy's most recent press release tells it all:
Taking the American Cowboy from Idaho to the world for over 16 years seems to be a full time calling for Meridian cowboy Rudy Gonzales. Recently recognized by Governor Dirk Kepthorne in October of 2000 as Idaho Cowboy Entertainer, Poet, & Western Humorist, Rudy was nominated by Senator Michael Crapo to represent Idaho at State Day in Washington D.C.
In front of a standing room only crowd he was given a full hour worldwide Internet live broadcast. His performance is logged forever at the Kennedy Center and Library of Congress archives. He was introduced as, and claimed for Idaho the distinction of becoming the First Cowboy Ever to perform at the Kennedy Center.
Rudy was representative of the American Cowboy, in a documentary National Broadcast through out the nation of Australia. He was the first cowboy to entertain for the World Forum, an international think tank in Vail, Colorado where he entertained such dignitaries as former United States President Gerald Ford, Former Vice President Dan Quayle, 250 International Dignitaries and over 500 of the worlds top C.E.O.'s. More of his past appearances can be found at www.cowboyrudy.com/appear.htm.
He founded the Idaho Cowboy Poetry Gathering back in 1987. He and his wife Rose have a small cattle and horse ranch in Meridian where he still shoes horses and his wife runs the ranch, teaches adult horsemanship and trains select horses.
Amidst 2001's busy bookings Rudy represented the American Cowboy at the prestigious Corcoran Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C. when the 9th "Westward Ho! Family Day featured Rudy as the finale to the "Painters and the American West" Exhibition from the Phillip Anschutz Collection. Rudy delighted the audience with his cowboy humor, sang his cowboy songs, shared his cowboy poetry and stories and of course he will taught the audience how to yodel and to mosey.
A Few Poems
Rudy's Handlebar Moustache
Big Jim
Poetic Justice
Sometimes You Just Can't Please 'em
Rudy's Handlebar Moustache
How long did it take you to grow that moustache?
What do you put on it to keep it in place?
Does it stand out on it's own when you greet the dawn,
or does it hang down in utter disgrace?
Seems I'm always plagued by these questions,
can I touch it, and is it for real?
Is it greasy or slippery perhaps?
How does it stand out like it's made of steel?
Well I answer these questions politely,
I been sport'n this growth thirty years.
I grew it back when . . . I guess I was ten,
an' to part with it might bring me to tears.
I've never put anything on it,
such a sin might cause me to fall.
It stands out so fine cause whenever I dine,
I don't use a napkin at all.
Amidst all this hair there's biscuits n' gravy in there,
an' some juice from old rabbit stew.
There's of course bacon grease when I cooked me some geese,
an' something weird I ate colored blue.
Oh I use to keep it much longer,
why it once stuck clear out to here.
But while running my horse into the wind's mighty force,
it got to snap'n and near took off my ear.
Why you'll be forced to give up romance,
'n kisses you can forget about those.
'Cause it's hard for a lady to kiss you,
with your moustache stuck in her nose.
It can sometimes be quite a bother,
like when shoeing some high spirited mare.
When it's all you can do just to tack on a shoe,
then you tickle her with that long moustache hair.
Why does a cowboy grow such a moustache?
Is being different how he gets by?
You can't even dance close with the one you love most,
without poking her right in the eye.
So why do we sport such a nuisance?
Well the answer is worth more than cash.
It's all worth it that day when someone walks up to say . . .
HEY THERE . . . I SURE LIKE YOUR TASH!"
Copyright © 1993 Rudy Gonzales
Big Jim
Big Jim he was a portly man, almost too round to ride.
He ran his cattle in the breaks, out near the great divide.
It was a fact he loved to eat, most anything would do.
He ate his meals of grandeur, n put the left overs in a stew.
He loved the pastries most of all, he had a real sweet tooth.
He always prized a chocolate cake, since he was in his youth.
Doughnuts fresh were a great treat, sometimes he ate a pie.
There never was much pastry, that Jim would let get by.
But then alas a pretty miss, she came upon the scene.
She said her name was Edith, she came from Abilene.
Big Jim his heart was smitten, he was feeling mighty blue.
Until ole Shorty told him, here's what you'll have to do.
You'll need to face her honestly, and tell her of your love.
Then ask her if she will marry you, and be your turtle dove.
So Jim he went to Edith, and asked to her just that.
But Edith bluntly told him, sorry Jim your just too fat.
He never thought that his great size, would turn her love away.
He even thought to give up cake, Oh but what a price to pay.
Big Jim his heart was broken, so he asked Shorty what to do.
Shorty said, "you need to diet Jim, cause you can't have your cake and Edith
too!"
Copyright © 1993 Rudy Gonzales
Sometimes You Just Can't Please 'em!
Now Rose and I are the best of friends,
and that's nice when you're man & wife.
Seems like that's how things aughta be,
when ya married up for life.
To love, honor, and obey,
was what she promised always to do.
Now I think that's the way a wife aughta be,
it's a proven method tried and true.
Now we've got along great for many years,
to me things just couldn't have been much better.
Now you may find this hard to believe,
but there's come a real change in the weather.
She never did complain too much,
but once I did hear her kind of grovel.,
When I surprised her with her anniversary gift,
It was a brand new, . . .
long handled diggin' shovel.
Once I even bought a little servants bell,
so I wouldn't have to strain my voice.
She could have me call, . . . or ring for her,
now that's what I call giving her a choice.
Well then we had us a bad argument,
now that sure wasn't the way.
To see her so angry kinda made me sad,
but her mad seemed to be here to stay.
Now shortly before the fussin' was over,
She did come to me on her hands and knees.
I figured she'd say something pleading, . . .
like maybe something that ended up with, please.
But she stated what was on her mind, . . .
and she shouted it as loud as you can.
She said, . . . "Rudy you come out from under that bed,
and stand up and fight like a man!"
Copyright © 1996 Rudy Gonzales
Poetic Justice
Arizona Artie was a fast man on the draw,
because of his profession,
he was always wanted by the law.
Artie would sell his fast gun,
to the one that paid the most.
When the dust had settled and the smoke had cleared,
his quarry was a ghost!
His shots were oh so accurate,
right between the eyes.
That's how you knew that Artie did it,
you could hear his accusers cries.
But he would have to change his style though,
'cause he really was no dope.
And he knew that fate would find him,
on the short end of a rope.
So Artie laid to rest his six gun,
and the word spread throughout the land.
But what he didn't say, was that now,
he would strangle with his hands.
Well Artie had no fears now,
'cause he figured that he would never get the blame.
And it don't matter just how you kill 'em,
'cause they're all dead just the same.
So Artie took a job for a rancher,
who wished to rid himself of some pests.
That just happened to be three sheep men,
who he wished to have laid to rest.
But without his reputation,
his fees had become much smaller.
And all this ol' rancher would pay for this job,
was one lonely single dollar.
So in the night he snuck out,
and he choked them in their sleep.
Then he bravely faced the morning sun,
his new method was now complete.
Now I'm not sure how they found out, . . .
and it's enough to make you hollar.
But when the newspapers hit the street,
There it was, . . .
"Artie chokes three for a dollar!"
Copyright © 1988 Rudy Gonzales
Contacting Rudy Gonzales
Rudy says:Visit the Home Ranch at www.cowboyrudy.com
Want to learn about honest horse savvy visit Rose & Rudy's Ranch
www.cowboyrudy.com/r&ranch.htm
Don't miss the Cowboy Poet's Society at www.cowboyrudy.com/cbyptsoc.htm
You can read more of Rudy's poetry at The Wyoming Companion:
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