Cowboy Poetry and Music and More at the BAR-D Ranch

Wichita, Kansas



The Quarter Horse

"A Quarter horse" the ole boy mused,
and looked so far away.
he shook his grizzled head
Said listen to what I say.

People tell you opinions
and nonsense, mostly rot
Some might even tell you lies
They made up on the spot

A quarter hoss ain't any single thing
but a combination of sorts
It may be half or three sixteenths
Or even mostly horse

The story's long and likely hot
So someone pass those drinks along
this may take a while to tell,
Make mine big and strong.

It all began, he started off,
With Noah after the flood.
He'd lost all those unicorns,
and God was out for blood.

Noah tried to recreate them
His heavenly ties to mend
He found that just one-quarter horse
would yield a perfect blend.

The rest was goats and stags and such
which histry's lost, o' course
Remember the important part
'Twas just one-quarter horse.

Ever since when crossin's done
for some specific reason
quarter horse is the name that's given
If results were pleasin

Nowadays the college labs
study gene manipulation
They's forgotten all we learned
of intentional mutation!

We'll skip the 'how' and stick with 'why'
Else you might think I'm jokin
And how we made the Jackalope
Can get a grown man chokin.

Now way up in north Montana
they had a different need
If your horse was goin to freeze to death
it had no need for speed.

We took a wooly mammoth
and sized him down a bit
For herding prairie buffalo
he really was a hit.

Your horsemen think the quarter horse
is a fancy pure-blood breed
Truth is that the jackalope
Was put in him for speed

When you're out a'chasin cattle
they don't always see your way
You need quick steeds to turn them back
a dashing, short display.

Jack rabbits had some promise
if you used imagination
His legs were the best around
for great acceleration.

I admit his size was deficit
but the question kept on boggling
An antelope was selected
for the intermediate modeling.

We got that horse I tell ya
the proof is all around
If you need a short-run sprinter
he'll run you in the ground.

So if they tell you different,
just smile and let it go
The truth about the quarter horse
Is a thing few people know.

2003, Rex Schechter
This poem may not be reprinted or reposted without permission.



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