NICOLE LEGERSKI
Sheridan, Wyoming
About Nicole Legerski

 

 

Bessy
 
Bessy is our milk cow she's a perty black and white
 and we had always thought her normal for a  cow until that night.
We had taken us a radio out to the barn to keep
us both in the best of spirits as we cleaned stalls that were deep.
 
We kept hearing thumps and bumpin' keepin' beat with every song
and a once we started searchin' well it didn't take us long.
It was Bessy, our fine milk cow, she was swayin' to and fro
and with her hind end hippie wigglin' it was really quite a show.
 
Now we know she likes to mamba and to polka she's no dunce.
She's done a little ballroom dancing and she's even tangoed once
but when she hears that country music she can think of just one thing
and that's to get out on the dance floor and to get into the swing.

When she sneaks into the dances no one tries to throw her out
 'cause she's a hefty swingin' milk cow with hooves flailing all about.
Most folks think that she's a prodigy but then you have those few
that don't think that proper cows should shake their udders like she do!
 
She'll do a line dance and the two step like she's got nothin' to prove
but it's the cow-cow reel that really gets this Holstein in the grove.
She'll do a grape vine to the left and then she'll clap and do a spin
then she'll pony to the right and do the whole darn thing again.
 
She even likes to dance the slow ones and heck everybody knows
you don't want our Bessy steppin' on your little tender toes.
And if she gets hold of that whiskey even though it don't seem right
you can bet your boots that Bessy won't be in the barn tonight!

'Cause she'll be boogyin' to Tritt and gettin' down with Reba M.
 and she'll request a little Garth because she loves to dance to him.
She'll be swingin' to ol' Hank and boppin' to some Sawyer Brown
and if you play a little Straight that cow will really get right down.
 
So if your wonderin' what there's to do some summer Friday night
just come up to see our dancin' cow, she's really out of sight.
And if you luck out when you get there and your dancin' card's not filled
then maybe you can ask ol' Bess to dance.  I'm sure she would be thrilled!
 

 

The Vaccination

 

At Bishop's ranch one Sunday morn'

    A brandin' was at hand.

The neighbor folks had come to help,

    A custom in that land.

 

Ol' Hep had come from down the road,

    A dude of eighty-nine.

We always put him right to work

    So he'd feel mighty fine.

 

You see ol' Hep was wearing down

    Ol' time had taken toll.

And like us all he had this need

    Of still feelin' useful.

 

The vaccinations had gone well

    Up 'til that final cow.

Hep stuck that syringe in his hand

    But I'm not quite sure how.

 

His language was quite colorful

    As he felt what he had done.

Injecting all the contents in

    An inch above his thumb.

 

We watched in a pure mode of terror

    As Hep started to twitch.

Then did a backflip o'r the fence

    And landed in the ditch.

 

His escapade did not stop there

    For from the ditch he rose

Just spinnin' like a hurricane

    Upon his tippy-toes.

 

He jumped over the brandin' chute' 

    And cartwheeled 'cross the field.

I grabbed my rope and headed him

    And Lenny got him heeled.

 

We bound him up so we'd have time

    To figure what to do.

A hopin' this would all wear off

    Before the day was through.

 

We watched him 'til he'd settled down

    Until there was no doubt.

I took a breath to calm my nerves

    Then said, "Let's turn him out."

 

"Hoo-weee," rang Hep, "I don't recall

    Such limberness before.

That shot has loosened up my joints

    I'd say a little more."

 

And 'til the day our friend passed on

    Heaven his restin' spot.

He always thanked his lucky stars

    He gave himself that shot.

 

 

 
 

About Nicole Legerski:

My love for pure orneriness led me to write my first cowboy poem.  It was such a rewarding experience and caused so much "in-good-fun" embarrassment to ranching family members that I got hooked.  I went to my first cowboy poetry gather in 1995 and have been nuts about those too ever since.  I recently published a book of all my humorous cowboy poems entitled One Fence Post Short An "Off Her Rocker" Look At Ranch Life.  Bessy is one of the poems from that book.  I enjoy filling folks with as much nonsense as possible.  I take the true ranching stories of my father, uncle, grandmother, cousins (anyone's fair game) and then twist the facts here and there until they sound right.  I live in Sheridan, Wyoming with my husband and son of three where I teach impressionable youth.  It is quite the life.

We asked Nicole how folks could get her book One Fence Post Short An "Off Her Rocker" Look At Ranch Life and she replied:

Folks can send their dollars ($10.50 to be exact -- covering shipping and handling as well as sales tax) to . . .

   Legerski Laughs
   1738 North Heights Circle
   Sheridan, WY 82801

We'll send them out and get them to folks as fast as our ponies can run. If folks also want to include info to personalize an autographed copy I'd love to do it for them.

 

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