11/27/06  Frank, please email us, we have a message for you.

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Frank "Two Jump" Morris




The Real Gallopin Gourmet

Any time a gathers made, in the fall or in the spring,
besides the brandin and the taggin, we do another thing.
See, some of them cows is heifers and the rest of em is male,
so, we remove their little bully parts afore they go to sale.
Them parts is called the oysters, and by city folks despised,
so we keeps em fer ourselves, as by cowboys they are prized.
A skillet at the brandin fire, just abrimmin with them orbs,
should make glad a punchers heart, but it makes me kinda sore.
The iron man and the mugger, bein closest to the pot,
get to eat more of em, hell, they mostly get the lot.
The ropers and the gate men only get to snag a few,
cause besides them selfish ground men,
most bulls aint got but....two.
So, it put me up to thinkin, at one brandin fire conundrum,
why not get scientific, an go for oyster production?
I mean, we breed chicks fer eggs and some fer meat,
and cows are bred fer milk.
Horses are bred fer speed an some fer work,
and even worms are bred fer silk.
Now, suppose each bull had oh....thirty pair?
and we had some of this breed.
Then we'd all get a crack at our fair share,
we'd have more than we really need.
We could open up new markets,
in nuovelle and haute cuisine,
Why, the virtue of our oyster, by the yuppie could be seen.
But the best part, the real beauty,
as yet untold in full.
Is that you could snip fifty eight from this wonder,
and still have a breedin bull!

1991, Frank "Two Jump" Morris
This poem may not be reprinted or reposted without the author's written permission.


About Frank "Two Jump" Morris:

Frank "Two – Jump" Morris, a California cowboy poet, has been entertaining audiences and readers with his exceptional style of poetry and tall tales since 1988. His work ranges from the hilarious to the philosophical, and no subject is too sacred for the scrutinizing eye of this first rate prevaricator.  See his bio on his web site for more . . . .






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