"CAMEL" DAVE HOWELL
About "Camel" Dave Howell
Miss AdventureIt's not that she was short ya' know, just kinda' under tallFive foot two in riding boots, with a two inch heel and allHer auburn hair was long and shiny well down past her waistAnd she wore it down, cowgirl style, tied in a long, long braidBut oh, she could do anything, train horses, rope and ride,Fix and fence and drive chuck wagon, there's nothun' she ain't triedBut her friends they kinda' worried, her doin' this all alone'Cos among the many things she was, she was kinda' accident proneTales of misadventure, told round a warm campfire,Often put her in the middle of circumstances direOne such tale I'll tell you, if you lend me half an earOne such tale I'll tell you in a very long careerIt seems with a half sized pickup truck and a tiny crgo trailerShe picked up twelve hundred pounds of hay made up from a round balerWell she got it home and backed it up into the feeding nookGot out of the truck and the tiny trailer started to unhookWell it bein' winter and ten below the hitch was frozen tightAnd the usual procedures didn't work, tho' she tried with all her mightWell she pushed and pulled and kicked and cursed to try and get it looseBut for all the effort she put in, it wasn't any useShe decided on a crowbar, to try and get it upSo she levered in and started to pry, between the ball and cupIt seems the bale was more toward the back of this here trailerSo when the hitch let loose, it swung straight up, it's a wonder it didn't nail 'erIt swung straight up, right off it's wheels, stuck straight up in the airWell no big deal, the bale was off... but then there was her hairShe'd forgot to tuck her braid in, for reasons unexplainedAnd the end of it had caught itself up in the safety chainAnd when she tried to reach up, to unhook her braided hairHer arms they wouldn't reach that far, and just waved there in the airShe stood on her toes and tried to jump, but much to her frustrationShe was still hooked on the safety chain, like a Christmas decorationSo then she turned, thought to herself, " I'll shinny up the tongue."But this was also difficult, 'cos her legs, they weren't that longWell she managed up and over, but things were still now kinda' dicey'Cos as I said it was a winter's night and the tongue was kinda' icyAfter several near disasters, she made it up where she was boundAnd hangin' by one arm, undid herself, and dropped down to the groundSo here now is a lesson from this story of my friendIf you're going to wear a long, long braid make sure you tuck it inAnd now that I think of it, there is another factorIf you're going to deal with large round bales.. Get yourself a tractor
© 2007, "Camel" Dave Howell
This poem may not be reprinted or reposted without the author's written permission.
About "Camel" Dave Howell:Camel Dave is a rat race refugee who re-found his heart and soul in the Cariboo district of British Columbia. He's worked as guide, packer, cowboy, teamster, and, for one summer, a camel handler in Wells, B. C. A closet singer and entertainer for many years, he started performing and writing poetry to amuse his coworkers. He's entertained since at several venues including the Kamloops Cowboy Festival. His songs and poems reflect both his personal experiences and his own outlook on the cowboy way of life.
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