"CAMEL" DAVE HOWELL
British Columbia
About "Camel" Dave Howell

 

 

 

 

Miss Adventure

It's not that she was short ya' know, just kinda' under tall

Five foot two in riding boots, with a two inch heel and all

Her auburn hair was long and shiny well down past her waist

And she wore it down, cowgirl style, tied in a long, long braid

But oh, she could do anything, train horses, rope and ride,

Fix and fence and drive chuck wagon, there's nothun' she ain't tried

But her friends they kinda' worried, her doin' this all alone

'Cos among the many things she was, she was kinda' accident prone

Tales of misadventure, told round a warm campfire,

Often put her in the middle of circumstances dire

One such tale I'll tell you, if you lend me half an ear

One such tale I'll tell you in a very long career

It seems with a half sized pickup truck and a tiny crgo trailer

She picked up twelve hundred pounds of hay made up from a round baler

Well she got it home and backed it up into the feeding nook

Got out of the truck and the tiny trailer started to unhook

Well it bein' winter and ten below the hitch was frozen tight

And the usual procedures didn't work, tho' she tried with all her might

Well she pushed and pulled and kicked and cursed to try and get it loose

But for all the effort she put in, it wasn't any use

She decided on a crowbar, to try and get it up

So she levered in and started to pry, between the ball and cup

It seems the bale was more toward the back of this here trailer

So when the hitch let loose, it swung straight up, it's a wonder it didn't nail 'er

It swung straight up, right off it's wheels, stuck straight up in the air

Well no big deal, the bale was off... but then there was her hair

She'd forgot to tuck her braid in, for reasons unexplained

And the end of it had caught itself up in the safety chain

And when she tried to reach up, to unhook her braided hair

Her arms they wouldn't reach that far, and just waved there in the air

She stood on her toes and tried to jump, but much to her frustration

She was still hooked on the safety chain, like a Christmas decoration

So then she turned, thought to herself, " I'll shinny up the tongue."

But this was also difficult, 'cos her legs, they weren't that long

Well she managed up and over, but things were still now kinda' dicey

'Cos as I said it was a winter's night and the tongue was kinda' icy

After several near disasters, she made it up where she was bound

And hangin' by one arm, undid herself, and dropped down to the ground

So here now is a lesson from this story of my friend

If you're going to wear a long, long braid make sure you tuck it in

And now that I think of it, there is another factor

If you're going to deal with large round bales.. Get yourself a tractor

© 2007, "Camel" Dave Howell
This poem may not be reprinted or reposted without the author's written permission.

About "Camel" Dave Howell:

Camel Dave is a rat race refugee who re-found his heart and soul in the Cariboo district of British Columbia. He's worked as guide, packer, cowboy, teamster, and, for one summer, a camel handler in Wells, B. C. A closet singer and entertainer for many years, he started performing and writing poetry to amuse his coworkers. He's entertained since at several venues including the Kamloops Cowboy Festival. His songs and poems reflect both his personal experiences and his own outlook on the cowboy way of life.

   

 

 

 

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