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"CAMEL" DAVE HOWELL
British Columbia
About "Camel" Dave Howell

 

 

 

 

Miss Adventure

It's not that she was short ya' know, just kinda' under tall
Five foot two in riding boots, with a two inch heel and all
Her auburn hair was long and shiny well down past her waist
And she wore it down, cowgirl style, tied in a long, long braid
But oh, she could do anything, train horses, rope and ride,
Fix and fence and drive chuck wagon, there's nothun' she ain't tried
But her friends they kinda' worried, her doin' this all alone
'Cos among the many things she was, she was kinda' accident prone
Tales of misadventure, told round a warm campfire,
Often put her in the middle of circumstances dire
One such tale I'll tell you, if you lend me half an ear
One such tale I'll tell you in a very long career
It seems with a half sized pickup truck and a tiny crgo trailer
She picked up twelve hundred pounds of hay made up from a round baler
Well she got it home and backed it up into the feeding nook
Got out of the truck and the tiny trailer started to unhook
Well it bein' winter and ten below the hitch was frozen tight
And the usual procedures didn't work, tho' she tried with all her might
Well she pushed and pulled and kicked and cursed to try and get it loose
But for all the effort she put in, it wasn't any use
She decided on a crowbar, to try and get it up
So she levered in and started to pry, between the ball and cup
It seems the bale was more toward the back of this here trailer
So when the hitch let loose, it swung straight up, it's a wonder it didn't nail 'er
It swung straight up, right off it's wheels, stuck straight up in the air
Well no big deal, the bale was off... but then there was her hair
She'd forgot to tuck her braid in, for reasons unexplained
And the end of it had caught itself up in the safety chain
And when she tried to reach up, to unhook her braided hair
Her arms they wouldn't reach that far, and just waved there in the air
She stood on her toes and tried to jump, but much to her frustration
She was still hooked on the safety chain, like a Christmas decoration
So then she turned, thought to herself, " I'll shinny up the tongue."
But this was also difficult, 'cos her legs, they weren't that long
Well she managed up and over, but things were still now kinda' dicey
'Cos as I said it was a winter's night and the tongue was kinda' icy
After several near disasters, she made it up where she was bound
And hangin' by one arm, undid herself, and dropped down to the ground
So here now is a lesson from this story of my friend
If you're going to wear a long, long braid make sure you tuck it in
And now that I think of it, there is another factor
If you're going to deal with large round bales.. Get yourself a tractor

2007, "Camel" Dave Howell
This poem may not be reprinted or reposted without the author's written permission.



About "Camel" Dave Howell:

Camel Dave is a rat race refugee who re-found his heart and soul in the Cariboo district of British Columbia. He's worked as guide, packer, cowboy, teamster, and, for one summer, a camel handler in Wells, B. C. A closet singer and entertainer for many years, he started performing and writing poetry to amuse his coworkers. He's entertained since at several venues including the Kamloops Cowboy Festival. His songs and poems reflect both his personal experiences and his own outlook on the cowboy way of life.
   
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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